2015

Made an account on Deviantart to share my drawings as a complete newbie. I would mostly just follow tutorials, even though I couldn't understand the process I was trying to mimic. I wasn’t even sure if I should include this year because most of it is just about following tutorials and drawing Deviantart OCs for other people. But I thought it’d be nice to show how I startedColorful artworks with animals and dragons mesmerized me for some reason. So I tried to emulate that. Just wanted to have fun and maybe even make friends too. Drawing characters for other people was really fun
Also, I really liked trees.

2016

Tried to work on OCs, but my characters were really basic. So occasionally I would focus on drawing scenic pieces. Saved up money from doing commissions (working on them was fun) so I could upgrade my drawing tablet. It was Intuos Art M.Honestly I didn't really know what I was doing, I just liked drawing random ideas after school and messing with filters. Drawing animals was funI could not understand how values or shapes work. Color theory was a complete mystery to meStarted receiving more attention around this time and it weirded me out, I appreciated that other people cared and liked my artworks, but at the same time it wasn't enjoyable. It felt like I had to improve as fast as possible, so I could catch up with expectations of other peopleOn a side note, for years people would tell me in DMs or comments on socials that they love artworks from this year the most, I appreciate it a lot. But it's also a little bit awkward because I was just some random 16 year old with a drawing tablet and I had no idea what I was doing.

2017

Tried to level up, but I was afraid of using references properly for some weird reason. So my drawings were really bland and repetitive. Sometimes I would take a look at an occasional reference image, but it would make me feel bad (??? for eg. there is a pizza speedpaint in the “Videos” folder, I would occasionally look at pictures of food for reference and I thought I’m not supposed to do it, I thought it’s cheating). I limited myself when there was literally no reason to do it. I would try to recreate images from memory, but it’s just weird when I think about it now.I didn't exactly have OCs, as I didn't have skills to imagine characters with backstories or unique looks. So I would mostly draw “filler characters” that don’t stand out much and exist just to fill a bit of space in front of backgroundsAlso, communicating with people online was really hard, I was spooked even by nice comments and interactions. Also being online in general has always felt weird to me, so I guess I might have come off as socially ineptTried to diversify composition in my drawings, but values were still really hard to comprehend. I did not understand how colors work either. But on the other hand, I was able to spend more time on details because I finally had a bigger tablet (the one I got in 2016). I would use gaussian blur a lot because I didn’t know how to balance details. Also I would follow something similar to the watercolor painting technique, I’d start with lightest parts and gradually go to darkest.

2018-2019

Tried working harder, but I didn't practice properly and it made my drawings stiffer and even less expressive. I think I fixated too much on thin line art and ignored readability of shapes. I was bizarrely fixated on separate elements, rather than the whole pictureAlso I was afraid of using reference images for my characters for some reason, I thought studying work of other artists is “cheating”Also purchased Clip Studio Paint on sale and got a ton of unusual textured brushes which were hard to use. It was fun but very disorienting. Exciting changes, but getting used to them was exhaustingMore time was put into working on details, however I still could not understand how values work, so my drawings looked flat (2018). Also, my characters turned into something really angular and stiff for some reason (not an intentional look). I guess I might have tried to mimic a sharper “anime” look for the characters without understanding how shape design works. The colors were either muted or overly saturated.At my home there was a certain issue I had no idea how to deal with, someone at home expected me to open commission slots when I was not ready for it. It felt really bad and intrusive. I would get in trouble whenever I would draw something for myself or practice to improve my drawing skills.
I worked on commissions at the best of my ability, but I still was very dissatisfied with my skill level. It was stressful because I knew it’s my responsibility to do the best I can and gradually improve, but it was nearly impossible in chaotic and hostile environment I had to be in.The clients were very nice and I was lucky to have so many good experiences. When I think about it, I haven’t had bad experiences. There was one time when my commission sketch was redlined by a client and it weirded me out a bit (in 2017?) but it’s okay. I don’t think it’s badUpdating the public document with status of the commission slots was fun and I liked doing the “boring” part of working on commissions, the drawing part was very stressful though. I wasn’t sure if I’m even skilled enough to work on it.
However on multiple occasions I was told that I draw too fast, so I tried to keep this in mind because I didn’t want paid artworks to be rushed. Not being able to practice (due to an issue I explained earlier) was very unnerving and I didn’t know what to do next.Got a new tablet (Intuos Pro M), I thought it’s my responsibility to invest into a better tool if people give me money to do this sort of thing. The difference in quality was huge and it was very intimidating at first. Suddenly I had insanely precise control over each stroke and I wasn’t sure how to adapt my brushes to this new feel, I had to figure out how to tweak an already established workflow.
Also (someone at home) was insanely mad at me and I literally spent weeks trying to justify this upgrade, they were furious that I invested money I got from commissions. So it felt really bad and I wasn’t excited at all.Pretty much all characters from 2019 have this weird disproportional angular look (???). In the second half of the year I'd practice drawing random figure gestures and animals, but I was not able to incorporate it into my drawings.

2020

Started experimenting with colors around this time as well as drawing in secret. Developed a basic sense of values and color intuitively
My environment was very unpredictable, honestly no idea how I even managed to live in this. I did not hate drawing, but every single time I would try to draw something or practice I’d get physically ill and anxious, at that time I could not understand why it was happening.Just wanted to distract myself from some things, so I'd practice mindlessly in my free time when no one could see me. I'd sketch a lot and I had gathered a massive library of reference images around this time. I needed to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about anything. I pushed through negative associations so I could reclaim drawing as something that makes me happy instead of scared. I did not want my drawing experience to be ruined by the hostile environment I was inMany characters from this year are this disproportional mix of chibi heads and long limbs, which looks kind of odd. However I was much happier with how things turned out. I would experiment with new techniquesI am very happy with scenic pieces from this year.

2021

Same as previous yearMany things look rushed or weird, but it's fine by me. I still would draw in secret so I guess working on details wasn’t an option.Worked hard on building my personalized brush library, gradient sets, reference image collections and many other useful tools. This year was niceTried learning how to simplify shapes, also I would try out different styles for my characters. I could not understand how to draw heads properly. This year was mainly about learning new tools and techniques rather than producing high quality drawings, also I really liked cute characters.Many things from this year are fairly low effort, because I couldn’t decide which style I like more for drawing characters and I didn’t want to commit to anything specific. Also, I would practice elements separately, so I could draw them on their own, but I could not produce actual artworks.I would draw things like hands and folds because I found it satisfying and not necessarily because I wanted to learn how to draw them

2022

Same as previous yearStarted to experiment with themes I like. Also started to copy other artists and it was fun.In 2015(?)-2016 someone told me I should stop imitating traits of a certain artist I really loved, because I "relied too much on it" or something along those lines. I worried so much about trying to stay "original" and when I was in my teen years I thought it’s wrong to copy traits of artists you like. In 2022 I saw a follower on twitter make artworks the same way I drew scenery in 2017 and I thought it was cool. When I was a teen I really disliked it when people would copy the way I draw for some reason (???)I would try doing new things just for the sake of it

2023

I was doing pretty bad and I could barely focus on normal daily things. I picked up 3d modeling and it was fun to mess with. Also I would sketch my characters mindlessly. I don't remember this year for the most part, everything is hazy and barely recognizable.It was really hard to draw, I did not have any ideas in mind. Got an issue with my wacom pen, it would drop pressure sensitivity at very specific angles and movements. It was incredibly annoyingGot a new monitor this year, my first full HD monitor. The previous one was made in 2008 and I got it in 2011 I think. My eyes would get irritated really fast (I was not aware of it because I had nothing to compare it to), also the picture quality wasn’t great. I have no idea how I used to work with that, I definitely should have upgraded it long before 2020
Working with values was insanely hard before this upgrade, because my old monitor had dull backlight and it was very hard to tell whether my artwork was too high or too low on contrast.Intuitively learned a bit of shape design and stopped relying on line art around this time I think

2024

This year was really bad, I could barely get up and go to work. I did not want to do anything at all. I would do weird things and forget about them almost instantly. I wasn't even aware of itMy drawings from this year kind of reflected this I think, because many of them are out of place or weird. At some point I stopped drawing completelyBuilt my new PC, the previous one was really slow it was like a decade old at that point. But even with this improvement I didn’t really want to do anythingThe pressure sensitivity issue of the pen still bothered me, but not as much because I got used to it and found workarounds.

2025

Picked up drawing again, I don’t have any goals in mind though. I am okay with where I amGot a Huion Kamvas 13 (gen 3) on sale, it was really weird to use at first, but I got used to it. I use it for line art, working on stylized characters and sketching. Other than that, I mainly use my Wacom, I still like it a lot and I will never stop using it. It still has this weird pressure sensitivity issue but I can deal with it so it’s not a problem. Painting on the screen feels weird sometimes so I will never work with it full time.My interests are all over the place and it’s very hard for me to pick something specific. So usually I just doodle mindlessly.
Honestly I can’t really draw for myself, usually I ask my friends what I should draw and then I follow their instructions

Shoutout to memories from my school years, whether those were fun art trades or petty fights about someone drawing a character just slightly similar to one of my drawings when I was 17 or whatever. As an adult I just find it bizarre that things like that used to bother me when I was in my teen years, I wonder why. When you are being copied it means your craft is admired, I did not understand this when I was younger for some reason.
Also, since I grew up I feel and experience things in a very different way in general, like I don’t feel emotionally connected to my drawings. When I was say 16-18 I thought of them as extensions of me, as an adult I see them as items or products.I draw and mess around with 3d models just for the sake of it, I don’t care about consistency or uniqueness or commercial value of whatever I am working on, it’s just fun and I am happy to be able to do these things.
Also I love learning new things and imitating different techniques
I love everything drawing related…I am addicted to hoarding brush presets and other materials, like sometimes I just go through my libraries and admire how many types of brushes I have
Also I was addicted to hoarding reference images too, like sometimes I would go “hunting” on google maps to take screenshots and bookmarks of cool places (and then never use 90% of them). Some days it was so bad I would spend hours on this
I also watch a lot of many art related things on youtube everyday
I love talking about all things drawing…When I think about improving skills, I guess the most important thing is being honest with yourself and embracing your mistakes, then choosing to grow from there. If you are bad at something, focus on that thing and practice regularly to turn it into your strength. Study something little by little everyday and check how much you’ve learned after a month. Be proud of things you’ve achieved and share this excitement with someone.I believe the fastest way to improve is picking one artist at a time and trying to mimic their work, for example if you like how artist A chooses colors try to mimic their color palette, if you like how artist B draws faces study it and incorporate this into your next drawing. No need to invent the wheel, just follow footsteps of artists you like.I am inactive and I’m not purposefully ignoring anyone I am literally just never online. Checking art of other people is fun but I don’t feel the need to share anything at this point. Honestly social media is really confusing and I feel like I’m too old for this anywayThank you for reading